Hilariously Random Movie Quotes: Part 2

Hello World! Here is the sequel to the Hilariously Random Movie Quotes. Enjoy!

 

 

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“Food is fuel. If you get picky about what you put in the tank, your engine is going to die. Now shut up and eat your garbage.”   ~  Ratatouille

 

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“Now look! We’ve figured it out 17 different ways, and each time we figured it, it was no good, because no matter how we figured it, somebody don’t like the way we figured it! So now, there’s only one way to figure it. And that is every man, including the old bag, for himself.”

“So good luck and may the best man win.”

“Except for you old lady, may you just DROP DEAD!”   ~ It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World

 

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“There’s a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?”   ~ Signs

 

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“How do you spell FBI?”   ~ Toy Story 2

 

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“I do not mean to pry. But you do not, by any chance, happen to have six fingers on your right hand?”

“Do you always begin conversations this way?”   ~ The Princess Bride

 

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“I’m only paranoid ’cause they want me dead.”   ~ Conspiracy Theory

 

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“Can I drink this?”

“Do you want to explode!?”   ~ Despicable Me

 

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“The name’s Fred; school mascot by day, but by night… I’m also the school mascot.”   ~ Big Hero 6

 

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“Don’t shut YOUR eyes!”

“Okay, sorry. Got a little nervous.”

“YOU’RE nervous? An 11-year-old is cutting my hair!”   ~ The Parent Trap

 

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“Money is the world’s curse.”

“May the Lord smite me with it! And may I never recover!” ~ Fiddler on the Roof

 

– Savy

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Dear Peasant…

Hello everyone! This year I completely forgot about April Fools Day until the day of, so I didn’t have anything to use for a prank. Therefore, I had to compromise. So I sent an email to Savy. I have decided to share our exchange with you.

Please note: I did not originally come up with I SLAP FLOOR, I got that from Adventures in Odyssey.

My email:

Hello Peasant!
This is email is to inform you that as of 10:00 a.m. this morning, I have been officially announced Dictator of the Universe. As I will be determining every detail of your life from this moment forward, I feel it is only fair that I introduce myself to you. My name is Tinker Bell, and I am married to a Moroccan man that I met while filming “Road to Morocco”. His name is Billy Bob. I recently wrote a book titled, “World Domination: How I Conquered the world and what I plan to do next.” It’s the story of my life and my plans for the future. I would recommend reading it so that you know how I plan to control your life and use it for my own selfish purposes. Wait, did I say that out loud? In case you are stupid enough not to read the book, I will give you a quick summary of my past experiences and what I plan to do next. I was born and raised like most Martian children, I suppose. But from an early age I knew I wanted to be in charge of everything. Especially planet earth. I moved to your charming planet when I was ten years old. I lived with the oompa-loompa’s for many years, and contrary to popular belief, I was the first person to discover them. Not Johnny Depp or Willy Wonka. After I left the oompa-loompa’s I played the supporting role in the movie, “Peter Pan.” Later, I decided to buy a coffee shop in Costa Rica. While there I lived mostly as a local, except I brainwashed every government official, and was soon the ruler of the entire country. I did this with every country until I had the entire world in the palm of my hand. That is the story of how I conquered the world. My hobbies include: knitting, golf, and drinking laundry detergent. Now that you know a little bit about me, I’m sure you’re curious as to what I plan to do with you. My intentions are simple: I plan to make you my slave and show you no mercy.
Have a lovely evening!
I SLAP FLOOR! ~The President of the Entire World and then Some, Tinker Bell
P.S.
You may want to re-arrange the letters of my sign off, there is a meaning there. 🙂
Savy’s reply:
Dear Tinker-Bell

I am not entirely sure how you came into possession of my contact information. Either you have a highly sophisticated hacking system in your computers (which is highly unlikely, considering I am the only person who has access to technology of that kind), or you are very good at guessing. I must admit that I am rather confused. I have never heard of you before, and I am certain that if you were actually taking over the world, you would have at least been on at least one of the 27 news channels in Gotham City. To your misfortune, you have failed to brainwash me. If your code was an attempt at this, you might want to try writing one that is in a comprehensible language. Not Oompa Loompish. My secretary spent hours attempting to break the code, and he came to no avail. But seeing as how you appear to be new to the villain business, I suppose I can excuse this error. And just so you know, if you attempt to infiltrate, enslave, or tyrannize the city of Gotham, I will see to it that you and your Loompy henchmen are hunted down and destroyed. Justice will prevail.
Bruce Wayne
Owner of Wayne Enterprises
My response:
This email is simply an example of how small earthling’s brains are, any Martian would have known immediately that I SLAP FLOOR can easily be rearranged into April Fools! Anyway, how I came upon your contact information is none of your business, but if you must know I read your mind. That is one of my many skills. You only think you have never heard of me before because I have a multitude of disguises and body forms, as well as pseudonyms. You only think I have failed to brainwash you, even at this very moment I am controlling your every thought. (I want you to think that I do not control you.) I must admit that you have offended me with your insinuation that I am an amateur villain. You will pay dearly for this mistake. Your Gotham City and Wayne Enterprises will suffer. You have no power to stop me. As for justice prevailing, we are men (or girls) of action, lies do not become us.
Sincerely~ the One and Only, Totally Awesome, President Tinker-Bell
Savy’s response:
You sound like a bit of a racist supreme ruler. I might argue that little green people with antennae are of inferior intelligence. And don’t you think it is a bit odd that you are trying to convince me that you are mind controlling me, while at the same time are trying to convince me that you are not? And why are you using Earth’s lousy technology if you can just read my mind? Couldn’t you just instantly zap your emails into my brain? I don’t think you are taking advantage of your resources. Which is just one proof that you are an amateur.

And think about this. If you are the one controlling my brain, then aren’t you really just insulting yourself? It’s like you are fighting back and forth with yourself through Bruce Wayne, which is very hard on your self-esteem (and rather hard on Bruce’s brain. He won’t make a very good slave with a fried brain.). You seem like a very unstable life form. You might consider getting therapy and sorting your self out before you try ruling the world.
Bruce Wayne
Owner of Wayne Enterprises and King of New York
My response:
That’s it. Prepare to die. I’m prepping my zappy machine thing. Oh, and you can say good-bye to your precious Gotham City! Ha! Ha! Ha! (That was an evil laugh.) Maybe next time you’ll think twice about offending the great and powerful Tinker-Bell! And you can’t be King of New York, I’m King of New York and the entire universe! I like my slaves having fried brains, then they can’t think for themselves. I am not insulting myself, that’s just your pitiful little human brain thinking, you cannot fully comprehend my genius plan. See, I’m confusing you already. Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. Not.
Pushing all the fun buttons on my zappy thingamajig right now, in preparation for your death and erasing of memories! ~President Tinker-Bell
There were several more emails after that, but this post is already pretty long, so I will have to leave at that.
~The supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, incredible, diabolical, President Tinker-Bell (aka Ally)

9 Movies and TV Series on Netflix That are Actually Worth Watching

If you are like me, after a long day of slaving over textbooks, memorizing algebraic theorems and trying to remember what words like rhodopsin and sternocleidomastoid mean, you like having something good to watch in the evening. And if you are really like me, you can spend easily half an hour on Netflix just flipping through titles, trying to find something that looks half-way decent to watch. Well friends, I am here to help! Here is a list of 9 movies and TV shows on Netflix that are actually worth watching:

1. Ever After

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Ever After is a superb portrayal of the classic Cinderella, set in France during the Renaissance. It is about a young woman named Danielle who is a servant for her stepmother, and restless Prince Henry who is not overly thrilled about his parents setting up an arranged marriage for him. They meet under unusual circumstances, and the prince becomes quite taken with the girl and her wild spirit. The thing he doesn’t know is that Danielle is just a servant in a nice dress. Or is she?

Note: The original version of this movie was rated PG13 for some foul language. However, there is a PG version that has the language edited out. I believe that the one on Netflix is the edited cut.

2. Ella Enchanted

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This is a fun family-friendly comedy, which is loosely based on the book Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine. It is about a girl who is given the “gift” of obedience, and must do absolutely everything she is ordered to do. This is not especially handy when you have two bossy new step-sisters. When one day Ella is pushed to her limits, she deciders to run away and find the fairy who gave her the “gift” and beg her to take it back. A modern/medieval twist on the story Cinderella, this movie is sure to delight those of all ages.

3. While You Were Sleeping

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While You Were Sleeping is a story about lonely transit worker, Lucy, who falls in love with a man named Peter who passes her by at work everyday. He is handsome, and charming, and well, perfect. The only thing is- they have never actually spoken with each other. But she knows he’s the one. Then everything is turned upside down when Prince Charming gets mugged and almost hit by a train, when Lucy saves him. He is rushed off to the hospital where they discover that he is in a coma. Oh, and there is one other thing. Peter’s family kind of thinks that Lucy is his fiancé…

This movie is a great feel-good, romantic comedy. While You Were Sleeping is rated PG, but I personally don’t recommend it to anyone younger than 13.

4. The Man From Snowy River

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This is a movie that I have seen many times since I was very little, and I love it a little more every time I watch it. It is about an Australian mountain man named Jim Craig, who has to make a living for himself when his father dies. He gets hired by a wealthy cattle ranch owner named Harrison. Working at the Harrison’s is quite interesting. Mr. Harrison is a rough man, and the “supervisor” Curly is a jerk. Harrison’s daughter, Jessica, is high-spirited and not about to be shipped off to a woman’s college and told to act like a lady. And then there is the mysterious stallion who roams the mountains with it’s herd of wild horses. Jim is determined to fetch back his mare, Bess, who ran off with those horses the day his father died. As the story unfolds, the threads of an old secret become unraveled, and through it all Jim becomes the man that his father raised him to be. Rated PG.

5. The Rocketeer

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A fun, exciting movie about a pilot named Cliff Secord, who finds a jetpack. He sees finding the rocket as a great opportunity, seeing how he doesn’t have a plane since the last one he flew crashed. So he decides to borrow the contraption for a while. But, “when you borrow something and don’t tell anyone, they call that stealing.” He soon becomes known as “The Rocketeer”, a mysterious hero who flies through the sky on a rocket.  Meanwhile, Cliff’s girlfriend, actress Jenny Blake, is becoming frustrated with Cliff’s thoughtlessness. She catches the eye of the famous actor, Neville Sinclair, and accepts his invitation to dinner. As the plot thickens, Cliff comes to realize that someone is after the rocket and will stop at nothing to get it. This movie is rated PG, but it may not be appropriate for younger children due to frightening images and other aspects.

6. BBC’s Merlin

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This is probably one of my favorite BBC television series. Why people think that shows like Sherlock and Doctor Who are better than this is beyond me. I know, how dare I say that!  Merlin is about a young man (named Merlin) who has very powerful magical capabilities. He is sent by his mother to live with the court physician, Gaius, who is one of the few who knows about Merlin’s powers. In Camelot magic is outlawed by order of King Uther Pendragon, and is punishable by death. Ironically, he finds himself working in the palace as Prince Arthur’s servant. Arthur treats Merlin as a clumsy simpleton, oblivious to the fact that Merlin is an extremely powerful wizard who is constantly saving his life. This show is a clever twist on the story of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, and I highly recommend it to anyone who loves fantasy.

7. BBC’s Robin Hood

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Robin Hood is a TV series about Robin of Locksley, who has returned from war in the Holy Land and has returned to his manor. The Sheriff of Nottingham and his henchman Guy of Gisborne  aren’t too happy about Robin’s return, or his justice towards the people of Locksley. Robin is quickly stripped of his title as lord of the manor and declared an outlaw. And well, you know the story. I thought this was a reasonable good show that was exciting and entertaining.

8. North and South

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Margaret Hale and her father and mother move from the beautiful land in the south up to a northern town called Milton. Margaret quickly discovers how harsh the north can be. There are many cotton mills where workers slave long days on low wages, day after day breathing in the air that is snowing with cotton. One day, Margaret goes to one of the cotton factories to speak to a Mr. Thornton. When she gets there, she finds Mr. Thornton beating a man who he caught smoking in the factory. Margaret is shocked at the treatment of this man, and immediately begins to dislike Mr. Thornton. Her contempt for him only grows, and she discovers that he has become friends with her father, who is a clergyman. But Mr. Thornton becomes fonder and fonder of Margaret, much to the dismay of his mother. Life in Milton only gets harder when the workers at the mill organize a strike, and Margaret begins to see both sides of the controversy. Is Mr. Thornton really the cold-hearted man she once thought him to be?

9. Leave it to Beaver

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Leave it to Beaver is a delightful show from the ’50s and ’60s. It is about the Cleaver family: Ward and June who are the mother and father, and their sons, Wally and the Beaver (whose real name is Theodore). The two boys get into all sorts of scrapes and funny situations, and learn some valuable lessons. I really enjoy this show, probably because I appreciate the humor of living in a house full of boys. I heartily recommend it to an audience of all ages.

 

That’s all folks!

– Savy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Going to be a Good Morning!

Hello everyone! There are two kinds of people in the world: morning people and night people. I applaud all of you people who are able to go to bed at 8:30 and get up 5:30, that’s incredible. But that’s not me.

This is me in the morning:

Yep, it’s not a pretty sight.

This is me at 3:00 a.m.:

See the difference?

Alright, so I am a self-described night owl. Is there anything wrong with that? Of course not. Although, there are times when I wish that I was able to get up at 6:00 a.m., and have the energy to get through the day (without a nap). How do you know if your a night owl or an early bird?

You might be a night owl if…

1. If when your dad wakes you up Saturday morning with, “Rise and shine, Valentine!”  your first thought is: “Why, oh why, does he have to sound so happy in the morning?”

2. If you have ever had a teacher tell you that emailing your paper to them at 1:oo a.m., the morning after it was due, does NOT count as turning it in on time.

3.  If you have ever seen your neighbor leave his house in nothing but boxers at 4:00 a.m. (That’s a true story, by the way.)

(I have chosen not to include a picture of that.)

4. If your younger sister tells people that you are as nocturnal as a raccoon. Which is not a flattering comparison.

 

5. You’re never fully functioning until you’ve had a highly caffeinated drink.

 

6. If you have ever considered taking a hammer to your alarm clock or little brother, or both.

 

7. If this is you:

Alright, so now you know what it takes to be a night owl, but how about a morning person? Are you one of those people who wakes up in the morning bursting with energy? Perhaps.

 

You might be a morning person if…

1. You’re always on time.

2. You feel happy before noon everyday.

 

3. If you exercise.

 

4. If you’re the first person to fall asleep at sleepovers.

 

5. If you’re tired before midnight.

6. If this is you in the morning:

 

Now you know whether your a morning person or a night person. Unfortunately, most night owls have to get up in the morning, whether we want to or not.

If this is you, here are some songs to make rising early in the morning a little easier for you! (If you are reading this on your email, the YouTube videos will probably not appear.)

~Ally

1. The Cartoon Song by Chris Rice

 

2. The Breakfast Song by Newsboys

 

3. Good Morning by Mandisa

 

4. Smellin’ Coffee by Chris Rice

 

5. You’re My God by Jaci Velasquez

The Reality of Homeschooling

The Reality of Homeschooling: As depicted by twelve realistic comics.

 

Every homeschool parent has the right to talk to themselves. It is perfectly acceptable.

 

Yep, that’s kind of how it feels on the last day of school.

 

Who said you can’t wear pajama’s to school?

 

And no matter what, do NOT ever mention Harry Potter.

 

In our house walking to the mailbox counts as P.E. Wimpy, I know.

 

To be fair this has never happened to me, but I have known people it has happened to.

 

Just another day in the life of a homeschooler.

 

Okay, maybe that’s a little snarky, but you get the point. We really are not afraid of the outside world and do not plan to hide in our houses for the rest of our lives.

 

But who can blame her? I would be frustrated by the end of the day if I had to do her job too.

 

I admit it, I correct my own tests. But I do not cheat!

 

Genius.

 

I’ve never received lunch money, but I can’t complain, my lunches at home are better than what they get in a public school.

I hope you have enjoyed this post! ~Ally

 

 

5 Best and Worst Movie Endings of All Time

Hi all! I want to start by saying that endings are very important to me. Ask any member of my family, and they will tell you I am one of those people who reads the end of the book first. If the book does not have a conclusive or happy ending then I will probably not read the book. Why waste time reading something that doesn’t end well? But today’s post is not about books (as wonderful as they may be), this post is about movies. Today I would like to share with you the five best and worst movie and series endings of all time. Before I begin I must tell you three things:

1. This post is filled with spoilers.

2. Just because I do not like the ending does not reflect my opinion of the movie over all.

3. I am a little biased in my ending taste.

The second and third are probably the most important to remember. This is the type of ending I like:

 

This is the kind of ending I do not like:

All of that said, let’s get started!

 

Top 5 Best Movie Endings:

 

1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

One of the best movie endings of all time! It had a good, conclusive ending. You find out exactly who ends up with who, and nothing is left to chance! In case you have never seen or read the Harry Potter series, the last scene takes place 19 years later. All of the bad guys are defeated, and now Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione are sending their kids off to Hogwarts. It explains exactly what is going on and what everyone is doing now that they have all grown up. I wish every series ended this way. It was a perfect ending to a wonderful series. The Harry Potter series is worth watching simply for the ending.

 

2. The Philadelphia Story

This movie is not your typical, predictable romance, I was never positive as to whom she would end up with. I was a little concerned that it would end abruptly, but was overjoyed when it had a conclusive, happy ending. I was not left wondering what happened, but was shown exactly what happened at the end. The spontaneous wedding made for an entertaining finale.

3. Signs

I loved that the movie “Signs” had an epilogue! That’s not something you see very often in movies, usually only in books. If you haven’t seen “Signs” I’ll give you a brief summary, it’s about a pastor (Mel Gibson) who has lost his faith in God due to his wife’s death. Strange things keep happening around his farm, first abnormally large people running around his house at night, then his dogs get sick, and finally someone cuts his cornfield in an odd pattern. Then the world realizes that we are being attacked by aliens. Finally, it ends with Mel Gibson’s faith in God being restored.

 

4. The Princess Bride

The perfect fairy tale finale! Riding off into the distance to live a carefree life with your princess and two men you barely know, but who just helped you save your princess! Is there anything more perfect?

5. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Shotgun wedding!

 

Top 5 Worst Movie Endings

 

1. Gone with the Wind

Was there ever a more depressing ending? First, everyone dies, then her husband divorces her. Worst finale ever! I don’t care if she goes back to Tara, it’s downright appalling. The movie ends with Scarlett O’Hara saying, “Tara! Home. I’ll go home. And I’ll think of some way to get him back. After all… tomorrow is another day.” But it never explains if she actually ever gets Rhett Butler back.

 

2. Casablanca

No offense to all of you Humphrey Bogart fans, but I hate the ending of Casablanca. I will give it credit for having some memorable quotes in the last scene, but the scene itself is tragic. He pines after her the entire movie, and then she leaves with her husband. Not that I would have preferred she leave her husband for Rick, but I was kind of expecting him to die or something. Oh well, at least she didn’t leave him, because in the words of Humphrey Bogart, “If that plane leaves the ground and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.”

 

3. The Village

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I will try not to include any spoilers in this summary, because this movie is full of shocking plot twist, but I have to include “The Village” on this list. Overall, I love this movie. It is enthralling, and kept me sitting on the edge of my seat the entire time, but the end is not conclusive. After Ivy Walker goes on a challenging journey to get her sick fiance medicine, they don’t even tell us if he get well or if he dies. For all we know he could die the next day. We are left to assume that he gets well, but you should never assume anything when it comes to movies.

 

4. Into the Woods

Happily ever after? Baloney! The horrid ending of this movie starts when Cinderella and Prince Charming’s wedding reception is interrupted by an angry giant. The giant is after Jack, because he killed her husband. She throws the entire kingdom into disarray, and Jack is nowhere to be found. Then Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, the town baker, and his wife all go looking for Jack. While looking for Jack the baker’s wife runs into Prince Charming. They kiss, even though he just married Cinderella and she is married to the baker. After he leaves her she sings a song about their kiss and promptly falls off a cliff. When her husband hears that she died he leaves his newborn son with Cinderella and runs away, but comes back after he has a conversation with his dead father. Meanwhile, Cinderella hears from the birds of the woods that Prince Charming had kissed the baker’s wife, and confronts him. His response is, “I’m suppose to be charming, not sincere.”  The whole last half of the movie stank.

 

5. Sleepless in Seattle

I must admit that the ending of this movie didn’t bother me very much, until my Dad pointed out that they could have broken up five minutes after the movie ended. In Sleepless in Seattle, a young woman named Annie falls in love with a man, named Sam, who she has only heard on the radio. She writes to Sam asking him to meet her on top of the Empire State Building, but he never even reads the letter. His eight-year-old son, however does. His son is convinced that they should meet up with Annie in New York, but Sam is not. That is until eight-year-old Jonah runs away to meet Annie. Sam is forced to go to New York to retrieve his son, and in the process runs into Annie on top of the Empire State Building. Then the movie ends. For all we know they could have gone on one date and then decided they hate each other. Outside of that, Sleepless in Seattle is a very enjoyable movie.

 

PBD Disorder: Do You Suffer From It?

Hello everyone! Today I am going to share with you on a virtually unknown, yet quite serious disorder: Post Book Depression Disorder. While I may have made up the name, this is still a very real problem. It is caused when an avid reader finishes a fantastic book. Christmas has been over for almost a week now, which means I’m pretty much finished with the books I received for Christmas, and therefore PBD is starting to kick in. This is a disorder I have suffered from many times in the past, and am very familiar with, but how do you know if you have it? Here are some of the symptoms:

 

1. A deep feeling of melancholy that settles in during the last chapter

2. Daydreaming about a sequel

3. Frantically surfing through the books on the online library or Kindle store

4. The desperate urge to go to the library no matter what you are doing

5. Missing fictional characters as if they were your best friend

6. The desire to scream, “Nooooooooooooooooo, it’s over!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

If you have ever experienced any of these symptoms then you know you’ve got Post Book Depression Disorder. Unfortunately, there is no real cure for it, except to find another good book to read. Although at some point that book must come to an end as well. Isn’t it horrid that every book must have a finish? “You can’t get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me.” ~C.S. Lewis

~Ally